Why Doctor’s cannot cure you?

If the title made you think otherwise, let me make it very clear – This is NOT an article about God or strength of Prayer and sorts. You can stop reading if that is what you were looking for. Others read on…

I had first heard this notion from Chris Tucker during one of his comedy routines. And I thought to myself – Isn’t this true?  Okay, let me explain and you spend some time thinking about what you just read.

Doctor’s are professionals alright. They practice medicine but a majority of them are no firefighters. What I mean by firefighters is that they are not selfless heroes. After an expensive college education in Medicine, Doctors are motivated by Profit. The need to make money. I am not talking about the minority exceptions. There are a number of them who join NGOs, Red Cross and so on striving to help the unfortunate in war-stricken and ultra-poor zones of the earth.

But the majority of Doctors are in it for money. Now let is look at it in perspective. Pharmaceutical companies rely heavily on doctors for their revenues. Doctors make money by prescribing these medicines that pharmas make. In a way they are co-dependent. What happens if a Pharma company makes a medicine that can actually cure a particular disease? Not treat, I mean CURE a disease completely so that it cannot recur ever.The patient who is cured will now need not come back to the doctor. The patient need not take the medicines anymore. This means the Doctor and the Pharma company have now lost one source of revenue. True that more patients will rush to the doctor and seek the elixir, but that will subside after most of the diseased is cured once and for all. There is no recurring income. A Doctor or the Pharma have no benfit in developing or prescribing such a miracle medicine.

Now let us say that a Doctor successfully treats you for Blood Pressure or Diabetes. He prescribes you some medicines. You now need to take these medicines for life in order to remain healthy. You need to revisit the doctor for regular check ups and you will due to fear of recurrence of the HIGHLY DANGEROUS disease you may have. This keeps both the doctors and the pharma companies, happy. They get recurring income.

When was the last time a major, serious disease after Small Pox (Polio to an extent) was CURED and ERADICATED. The only reason there are successful medicines against Chicken Pox and Jaundice perhaps is because they are not generally recurring types as body develops self-immunity.

If you notice, most of the medicines available are treatments. Most of the treatments are just that and not cures. A treatment is more profitable than a Cure and that is why Doctor’s cannot cure you of anything.

A baby is born and its a…PIG!

Finally the day that I and my Pighunt team were waiting for is here. The delivery happened today. Early in the morning. There were a few complications on the way. Small fixes here and there saved the day.I got the call…’Sir! Congrats, we have a Pig!’

Those were like the best words I heard in a long time. Your sweat and toil ends up in a result that you were expecting and that makes your day. The Pig wanted a Nano launch. So we gave a Nano launch on the day that the car Nano was launched in Mumbai. Ground-breaking events I say!

We will be looking forward to the support and love of people who know us, love us and those who will start knowing and falling in love with us very soon. I am so drunk on happiness that I cannot type anymore. Let the bubbles flow…I am the proud father of a Pig!

For the first glimpse of the cute Pig check – www.pighunt.in

They will Hang the Shoe!

Originally uploaded by Nico Nelson

The humble shoe that Charlie Chaplin once made famous by eating it is now again in the limelight for being a favourite protest tool. The latest trends show that the Shoe is far more effective in garnering media attention around the globe than bullets or assassination (I am so glad for that).

Heads of States and Ambassadors now have to watch out for the next shoe that may find them. As of now 2 out 3 throws have missed there targets. But they are getting there. The Israeli Ambassador was hit in the leg by one such shoe when he was in Sweden.But with practice the throwers might hit the bulls-eye very soon.

Meanwhile the Secret Service and other such presidential details will have to work overtime and start worrying about the stray shoe as much as bullets. I believe soon Head of State press conferences or speeches might be made a Shoe-free zone very soon.

I dread the day when all those people are stuffed in to a conference room with their smelly socks and god save the President if they throw one at him.

Recent Shoe Throwing Updates:

Israel ambassador is latest shoe-throwing target

Man charged with throwing shoe at Chinese premier

Town unveils Shoe Monument in honour of the Bush Shoe Thrower

My GOD is naked!

Yesterday, I received this email from a friend. The email was exhorting me to act against the insensitive ways of Famed Artist M.F.Hussain. This was a mail (forward) that was well-prepared with proper illustrations that clearly showed neat comparisons of different paintings of the artist. The images showed a distinct bias of Hussain to depict Hindu gods and goddess, including Mother India and even an Indian Brahman naked.

The mail talked about the lack of action by Hindus and how Hindus are ashamed of standing up for the desecration of our Gods and Goddesses by a Muslim artist.

I read this and was a little saddened. Rather I was very saddened because the mail came from a friend who is well educated and a writer. I believe writers are also artists because they create beautiful stories, poems and so on. But when writers (artists) themselves support such emails by spreading them around, I cannot understand the fate of art in our country.

I believe perhaps Hinduism is one the few religions left that talk of tolerance and peace. Every body seems to be more and more interested in adopting violent measures, the urgent need to make a statement through action and so on.

It is very very ironic when you consider the fact that many of our saints sitting up in the Himalayas are in fact naked or clad with minimalistic clothing because they consider it a way of being closest to nature, and here we are, irritated by gods being depicted naked. These saints are the ones who have given up materialistic pursuits of the world and we revere them for the same. But we are agitated by the fact that our gods are not shown in the material components of the world.

Think about it. Clothes and jewels and crowns and thrones are perhaps our greatest materialistic desires and fantasies. We always want to adorn our gods with the most precious stones and gold and jewels. We want to robe them in silk and satin and the finest materials in the world but did God ask for these? And now we want to take up arms and spread animosity because someone attempted to paint our Gods nude; the very nudity that is considered pure and very near to nature itself.

Now let’s assume God made everything. He is the creator of all. So why would God be fascinated with jewels and diamonds and not with stones and pebbles? After all He created all of it. Why would God appreciate the wanton boiling of Silkworms that he lovingly created, so that he could be wrapped in Silk?

I feel that Gods must be naked if they do exist in the humanized forms that we give them. And not naked in a vulgar way. God must be so beautiful in a way only a mother can appreciate her deformed child.

Do you think our God will like to have two hands when so many of his creations do not have one? Do you think he will like to walk on two legs when so many of his children crawl? Do you think God would like to keep ’sight’ for himself in a way that we know, when so many of his loved ones are blind? I fail to understand why we humans want to give God a human form which we consider is more superior than all other forms of life. On the contrary, the human form is perhaps the most weak and helpless when compared to some of the life forms existing on earth.

The all loving, all forgiving God that we know and I believe in cannot be so materialistic as His devotees claim. God must shun clothes. If He really liked clothes, then He would have made arrangements for us to be born with something that covers us properly rather than sending us buck naked. In fact, perhaps we should stand up against the injustice done to God by forcing clothes and other human fineries on Him.

I do not know why M.F.Hussain paints Hindu Gods naked. For that matter, I do not understand his paintings at all. But I do understand that if an artist wants to express his or her creativity then we should respect that. If everyone were worried about sensibilities and sentiments alone, then perhaps Khajuraho and Kamasutra would have never seen the light of the day. Our governments and the so called moral brigade do not seem to have a problem making foreign currency from tourists who are in awe of these places.

Artists choose to think different and create something that is way outside the purview of the common thinking man and that is what makes them special.

Every society needs someone who can contribute to it by being and thinking different. Otherwise we will be stuck in a rudimentary herd of cows and sheeps who wants to do nothing but follow orders and send senseless emails around because their leaders asked them to.

Why Guys are so insecure?

Idecided to take a small break from my phonely woes and bring up this very important point that I feel most of the guys will relate to.

“Don’t you feel that we guys are facing more insecurities than ever before?”

Look at all the challenges that are been thrown at us from all around. Let me try and list some of them:

Body shoddy: There were times when guys could relax with a keg of beer, belch comfortably and slouch on the sofa. But now those jerks on TV and even never-ending serials have all decided to get 6-pack abs and highly toned bodies. First I blame the movie 300 for raising the bar and then SRK for his latest release – “6-packs at 40 – Not a smoking tale”. Now he can match his smoking to his abs.
Because of people like these we are now expected to hit the Gym and sweat it out like dogs. These stars get covered over their heads in money to show off their bodies and we have to pay through our nose and then walk around all covered up lest we get arrested for indecency.

Dance Baliye: This is another bane that has entered our lives to torment guys. All of a sudden your girl wants you to learn dancing and shake a leg. Why? Because all those husbands and boyfriends on TV do just that. Till yesterday, I sincerely believed that Salsa was a Mexican sauce but now I know that they are nothing but weird gyrations.
Animals, bees and birds are known to have their own mating dance. Now we guys have been reduced to animals that also have to learn different genres of dances to be considered eligible for mating. Even then it is more of a lucky draw.

Mr. Nightingale: Nothing to do with the nurse I say, it’s more of the crooning variety. All these loads and loads of songs that these heroes are shown singing spontaneously at the spur of a moment do nothing to ease the humiliation that we bathroom signers have to endure.

First of all they can conjure lyrics like rabbit from a hat and then sing like Kishore da or Stevie Wonder. All that this does besides making money for the producers, is the raising the bar yet again. Expectations soar; the fairer skin looks at us with fluttering eyelashes, expecting us to break in to an impromptu song that defines her beauty in flattering words that will put flattery to shame.

The Psychic: There is nothing more frustrating and incomprehensible when the guys on the silver screen seem to know exactly what their girl wants, or thinks, or needs at the very exact moment. Also they can seem to procure the need or facilitate the fulfillment of such wanton wants with no reason to check their wallets too.
This I say is gross injustice to all guys across the world since we are wrongly accused of being Psychics. It is absolutely outrageous that girls expect us to understand what their problem is without them even telling us anything about it. I can’t blame them but the movies for spreading such gross misrepresentations.

JackMasters -I call these TV guys JackMasters; larger than life, Jack of All Trades and Master of all too! They see a guitar, they will play it; they see some incomplete lyrics lying around, they will pick up where the heroine left off; they see a building, they will jump over it. I am really tired of these JackMasters…and I hate them for ruining our lives.

I long for those days when the male lead will be a pot bellied man, lying on the couch drinking beer and watching TV and not caring a hoot about the female lead and yet getting her in the end. Hey wait a minute!!!….That is exactly what I saw on SUN TV. Bye Bye Bollywood…Thunder Thighs here I Come!

They are stealing my name…I thought I was being unique when I stole it!

I realized a sad truth…I had always loved to be a bugger…CreativeBug was a name I had adopted ages ago…I think a few years ago….but now so many unimaginative sad people have taken up this name as their nickname that I am losing my uniqueness.

More than the uniqueness, which was bound to happen since I was destined to be famous, the problem I have is that of credits. Anyone using the pseudo name can stake a claim all my highly intelligent and creative work of art. I will be plagiarized and all the bad publicity generated due to the shabby piece of work that I can only expect from people who can steal from an original artist like me.

After I had christened my name as CreativeBug, I had even gone ahead and created a fantasy name for my future corporation – CreativeBug Initiatives.

It would be known as CI (first I thought CBI but then decided against it. I think my clients won’t appreciate an invoice from the CBI, I guess). I have been doing some business under the CI banner….I think CI will survive this vandalism.

Since I wrote about this first…I think I am right…and if someone had thought of this word…considering I was born to the 80’s well its not my fault if someone was born earlier than me…I rediscovered it…like Columbus.

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Ways to get Free Food

Its a very simple and probably well-practiced theory. Take a look at my 13 steps to free-food:

1. Make a list of all your friends.
2. Mark their birthdays on the calender with a name corresponding the dates.
3. See how many friends have you got.
4. You should then target each month.
5. Spend hours on Orkut and other community websites (I prefer Orkut)
6. Your aim should be to make a friend for each day of the month, say February (its a good start..shorter month)
7. Try to keep the circle within the town or city you live in currently though an extended circle is also fine at a later stage. Ideally try to befriend someone from a city you are most likely to visit.
8. Once you are done with that month move on to the next. It will take time but its worth it.
9. The objective is to make a friend for each day of the year (birthday of the year).
10. Repetitions are acceptable. Multiple birthdays on a single date are fine. (I will explain that in a few mins).
11. Ensure that the you have a good reminder service. Orkut is just fine.
12. Make sure that you wish these friends and surprise them on their birthdays and days prior to that.
13. Usually the invitations for a treat are given out prior to the date and not on the day.Make yourself seen and get yourself invited. Modesty is not the best resort here.

Well there you have it…Free food…Throughout the year…You cannot go hungry.

You will take sometime to tweak this to perfection. The repetitions are going to be extremely helpful since some of your friends might not be in town or some may be miserly enough to sneak out of a treat (that happens often). Also make sure you might want to give a treat once in a while though ideally you might want to lay low on the radar to avoid over-spending your meager budget.

Besides the birthdays you will also be invited to the weddings and receptions and other important occasions of your friends life. These are the fringe benefits of all the efforts you took. Accept these as a bonus.

I am still making the calender…for those who feel this as a cheap way to eat food…I cannot agree more…it definitely is and cannot be practiced by the weak hearted. You need to be think-skinned and very determined to achieve this.

Others who are motivated by this…please make sure you share your calender with me.

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“To make God laugh, Let him know your Plans”

I came across this simple yet powerful ironic quote in the novel ‘The Janson Directive‘ by Robert Ludlum. The lead character – Paul Janson’s wife Helene who dies in a terrorist bombing…

“Goals are never unrealistic, but our efforts (or rather the lack of it) make them seem unrealistic”

I made this up when I was composing an email…well I tend to surprise myself sometimes.