The Smartest Smartphone

NOTE: For not so smart readers like me, this article has been broken down into small smart parts that can be read without overheating your brains…this is the first smart part. The next part will come after I cool down a bit 🙂

Smartphone Yes, I have the smartest Smartphone that you would never dream to possess. My Smartphone is so smart that I am sure that it has some hidden AI which puts me in my place and lets me know who the real boss is. I have come to terms with the fact that my Smartphone uses me, to go places. I am nothing but a ‘communicating transportation being’ whose sole purpose is to serve my phone, which brings me to my next conclusion – my phone is definitely Female!

I have a Nokia 6600. I just heard many of you wonder aloud, well that is so basic; what can be so smart about that one? Well, that is exactly my point. This evil phone fooled me into believing that it was just another simple basic Smartphone. But it was not long before when I realized that this one is really different. I must have really pissed some God of Technology (I am sure there is one…Hindus have a god for every purpose); that I was so benevolently cursed with this Smartphone…rather smart-ass phone.

It was about 6 months after I bought the phone that I did notice the true colors of my Smartphone. May be that itself talks a lot about my smartness levels. But then who would have thought in their wildest dreams that a mere phone can be smarter than you bargained for especially when such tall claims are made by my friends who are either lawyers or sales guys.

The first indication of an abnormal level of intelligence and smartness was evident after 6 months when the phone started restarting itself. All of a sudden in the middle of a conversation, she would decide that I have been talking into her for long. She would switch herself off and then restart all by herself. It was an exercise in limited talktime. (Had my father been aware of this, he would have immediately placed an order for my sister and mother too). At first, I scoffed at this phenomenon as some small software issue since this model is known to have some bugs. I made a mental note to go to the Nokia center for a software upgrade later.

Then one fine day, one of the buttons and a crucial one at that – “Menu” stopped working without any reason. The button would work at times but never most of the times. The phone had developed the uncanny sense of figuring out for itself when I needed that button the most and automatically deactivate it. And for no reason whatsoever, the button would work fine when I needed it the least.

This was not funny anymore since except for using my phone as a phone, I could not do anything else. What use is a Smartphone if I can’t use it other than a just a phone? Who needs just a phone that can receive and make calls along with texting? What about the expensive yet slow GPRS? What about the Bluetooth, Whitetooth and Rottentooth? Who can forget about the age old Snake Game? And the inadequate camera that can click pictures of moments you would never want to see again in a lifetime (definitely not the grainy ones that these minuscule lenses can garner). To be continued… (For sure)!

Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this post are those of the writer himself and should no way be taken as a review of the phone model. This need not be a generic experience for other users. The writer has also not been compensated by Nokia’s competitors in any form to write this article and is still poor; so donations are welcome.