The coming of a Sunday is like the happiness that you get when you find an Easter egg in a treasure hunt. May be that is why Easter comes on a Sunday. I love my Sundays too like most working professionals. So it is a little odd when you notice that my post is on ‘How to screw a perfectly fine Sunday!’
This is step-by-step process and does not require more than a few easily available ingredients.
1. Out-of-town Friends (without a dash of sanity in them – for best results)
2. A car that shuts down every 10 minutes
That is all. So now lets begin:
1. First thing to do is to make sure that you have some out of town friends
2. The next step is to accept a perfectly unassuming call, an hour or so after midnight from your out of town friends
3. Your friends must surprise you by saying that they are halfway to your place and need directions
4. You should then rush back to a place where you can possibly think of putting them up for the reminder of the night
5. Once you figure that out, spend the rest of your prepaid balance in giving them driving directions or you will have to drive all the way where they are stranded in the chilly night. Pray to all divine creations you know to let them reach you without kissing the word ‘LOST’
6. Once they reach your place, after they share the excitement of their trip, make arrangements to sleep in by spreading newspapers on the floor.
This is your marination – SATURDAY
8. The culprit car must be shown to a novice mechanic who can’t figure out the bonnet from the dickie
9. Then after a good breakfast you go ahead with the car that was never repaired
Chances are you will end up stranded in some place after the car breaks down. Find the nearest mechanic who is willing to put his head in the bonnet. Then when he tries to figure out the problem, you find a nice grass lawn alongside the road. There should be a decent beggar family with kids as your neighbors. Even if you get an option to go to some comfortable house with hot food and a nice bed, refuse it vehemently and continue to sleep on the pavement (grass lawn).
You spend the whole day making the beggars uncomfortable since you are better equipped (laptop for entertainment as opposed to their digital TV). You tend to become envious when you see a tea vendor giving them personal tea delivery service and ignores you when you ask for tea. You lay on the grass till the watchman asks you to move since he has to water the lawn. Then you decide to do something productive, so you find an empty bottle and notice that it contains a little petrol in the bottom. So you set about finding a matchstick and light it on fire. That is the high point of the day.
Your mechanic is as clueless as you but then that is fine since your friends only have to travel a 150 kms or so, you can wait all day and night. Finally the car is readied in an ingenious stroke of mechanic brainwave which is more of a patchwork. The mechanic assures you that the car will reach the destination BUT if something goes wrong then you can pull the fuse by doing this. The IF does not seem all that convincing. But you see your friends off and then return home after having successfully screwed your Sunday and still having fun.
And if this did not make any sense, then I have achieved my objective, coz my Sunday also did not make any sense!