I am a Bitches Man!

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I realized this when I was listening to George Carlin – How’s your dog? from his 1976 album ‘On the road’. Yes I am a Dog’s man. A Ladies man; may be…but a Dog’s/Bitches man; for sure.

I have always loved dogs. And I seem to get along very well with them. We have always treated each other with respect. My cousins have been bitten in their childhood, but fortunately I managed to avoid those teeth on my bum! I never figured out how dogs seemed to accept me so easily. I did try to theorize though.

My logic was that since I hate cats and I am allergic to them, I figured dogs could sense my disliking for their greatest foe. And so they assumed I was on their side in their war for world domination (Remember the Cats & Dogs movie!) I have been clawed and bitten by cats and I know for sure that the cats sense my lack of liking towards them. But not dogs…dogs are so happy to see me. I never had a pet dog all my life. I hope I will some day get one but after I learn to take care of myself.

Yet they love me so much that when I go to a friend’s place to meet a new dog, they go wild with excitement. They wag their tails as if they were trying to fly like a helicopter. They jump around and don’t have the weirdest idea what to do next! The dogs tend to lose their senses around me. I wish I could evoke the same reaction in all the women I meet. Works on some I must say πŸ™‚

The owners tend to get flustered and embarrassed. And they keep repeating that their dog never acted like this with anyone except for one odd family member or so. Then they would look adoringly at the dog, who by now has kept it’s head on my lap and looking at me all dovey eyed; and proclaim that the dog loves me already.

After such intimate encounters, I stared to see a pattern. It was the bitches (female dogs to the polished ears), that acted in a peculiar way. The moment they used to see me, they would show all the excitement and then start showing their Bum to me. Yes…they jump, wag, lick, run, sit, stand and what not and then turn around and show their bum to me. This is the part where it gets embarrassing for the owner and everyone tries to ignore the bitch just like one tries hard to ignore a small kid walking across the room naked. Of course, it is very difficult to ignore too since the dog like the naked kids tend to be not so quiet. The owners start wondering if the bitch is in heat. And I noticed this phenomenon not with just one breed but across different breeds including Pomeranian, Labradors, dobermans, the street bitches…all of them.

At first I thought they must be really high or something. You know high on hormones or even grass. Then I thought I might be releasing some dog like pheromones which made me smell like a potential mate. I had some real nightmares trying to understand this weird phenomenon. So I decided to look it up on the internet. I did not find many references. But on Yahoo! Answers I came across the same question – Why does my dog show its bum to me?

I read and then understood that it seems it is the way a dog shows its submission. The dog is accepting my dominance over her and wants to show that she trusts me. Its her way of accepting me into her life…by showing her bum to me. Now I feel so happy. I look back fondly at all the Bitches who showed their bums to me. I am not embarrassed anymore. I now know they love me, they trust me, they accept me…I know now that I am a Bitches Man!

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Ingrid says:

    Ha-ha-haa. I love dogs too, and I would do anything to get a pet dog πŸ™‚ I like small and chubby dogs (hahah!:D)
    And I do think that dogs like me to πŸ™‚
    When I was little I was truly afraid of them, always running away, but thank god I came to my senses in time, and now I’d so like to have a little companion of my own πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the nice post.

    And well.. what else.. I am a Bitches Lady? πŸ˜€

  2. Perry says:

    Showing their bum as a means of submission? Now, that’s something I didn’t know! Sure, it’s not just the pheromones thing? πŸ˜‰

  3. creativebug says:

    @Ingrid: I remember running like mad once, when a dog, the one who used to visit us every morning for breakfast…chased me around once because he thought I was a threat and he assumed I was disturbing his coochie cooing with a bitch. I swear I had no interest in that bitch!

    @Perry: I REALLY really HOPE not!! (worried)

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