But it Ain’t Wrong!

This is a song I penned in a moment of musical inspiration. I am fan of both Rock and Country music genres. I foresee someone composing this into a nice little song some day!

Will it be a hit? Let’s wait and listen!

Desolate and Alone

I write a song,
That may never be sung,
But it ain’t wrong, no not wrong
To write a chord that rung!

I etch memories to words,
That may never be pondered,
But it ain’t in vain, no not in vain
To believe you’ll grow fonder!

My melodies may cry,
Tears that may never be seen,
But it ain’t hidden, no not hidden
From those who have been!

My agony hides,
Behind a knowing smile,
But it ain’t a choice, no not a choice
‘Tis a salve for the next thorny mile!

I laugh in pain,
Screams of a wounded heart,
But it ain’t a shame, no not a shame
When life’s ripping you apart!

I see the truth,
In every body’s lie,
Bit I ain’t judging, no not judging
I too am passing by!

You exist,
Though not in my life,
But it ain’t right, no not right
To exhale my desolation rife!

I live to see,
The day I assuredly die,
But it ain’t wrong, no not wrong
To wish for the lasting high!

Hurting Flies and Mass Murderers

They Would Never Hurt Fly

I shake in my boots when I hear – “Oh! It came as a surprise to me! That boy could not even hurt a fly”

If not hurting flies  is the definitive benchmark of a person who is incapable of committing crimes especially murder, then I am a sure goner. I have swatted flies dead and at times with only my bare hands and intense concentration, smashed red ants, and even killed a menacing rat once at home.

Does that make my a potential candidate for a serial-killer? I have spent countless sleepless nights wondering this. What if this tendency to hurt pests extends to the general human populace especially when a large percentage of which can be easily identified as pests? As I toss and turn on the bed, I cannot help but think of the consequences and how I may be judged.

What will the old ladies and relatives say about me in the media after I am sent to trial?

“Oh he is a good boy. Killed a rat once that I saw but other than that I did’t think he could do something like this”

or perhaps a less painful statement such as, “He was not the silent types. Always yapping about bothering everyone. Its the silent ones you got to watch but this one…surprised us all.”

One moment I would be yapping and another moment…Wham!Bham!Shazaam! I may drop someone and everyone would be left wondering just like me – How on earth did that happen? Of course I have no intention of pursuing such a ‘Pest Clearance Drive’, but then these things pop in one’s head. I am not sure about you but it is not easy being me.

If flies were the barometer of ‘murderistic’ talent then I have butchered it already. I have shot off the dial as they say. I am glad “Minority Report” doesn’t exist as of today in our society or I would be locked in the gallows for good. Gives me the jitters I say!

Ah! there goes that pesky ant! Wait you……

 

Interestingly there is a book by the name “They Never Hurt a Fly” by Slavenka Drakulic on War Criminals on Trial at Hague. Interesting title. Will grab a copy if I get one. 

An interview with our dear Mantriji

India Against CorruptionReporter: So Mantriji, you are now in-charge of charging & investigating corruption charges on your peers and other government officials…

Mantriji: Yes yes, bilkul, corruption is a sin and must be condomed.

Reporter: But Mantriji, what about the Gutter case against you a few years back?

Mantriji: Please please do not defame me. It was not Gutter Case, it was Sewage & Sanitation issue. What is the Gutter, Futter!!! NO class!!!

Reporter: Sorry Mantriji. But what about that case? I believe it is still pending

Mantriji: Of course it will be pending. No proof is left. It is such an old case. If there was any truth in those allegations then do you think I would be roaming around free. I even got elected again.

Reporter: Regarding the re-election, Mantriji there were allegations of buying votes for cash and other freebies in your constituency.

Mantriji: Sab Jooth! If I give away gifts to my own people that will improve their lives then what is harm

Reporter: But Mantriji, giving such gifts especially during elections are a direct violation of the EC codes!

Mantriji: Code Phode all rubbish! What EC understands plight of common man. The poor man cannot even watch his favourite serial or an old Amitabh film because he does not have TV. If I give a TV or 2 to them then what is wrong? Am I asking him to vote for me? It is only due to my good intention that I am doing this. What this EC babus who sit in AC office and AC car and Dish TV understand all this!!??

Reporter: Mantriji coming back to the current issue of corruption and your new role. Over the years politicians have rarely done ever done hard time for corruption charges. Shouldn’t there be some kind of strict policy that considers corruption as treason against the country and have very strict punishment?

Mantriji: You media people tho! What you know about treason? Without any reason…treason! Treason is when you do things that help Pakistan or China! Most of the corruption charges are involving those who do so much good work for India. How can that be treason? No..I believe each case is different. You have to see all sides of a coin before you decide on such sensitive issues.

Reporter: But isn’t it true that corruption erodes our nation’s wealth and global standing. Is it not hurting our progress?

Mantriji: Of course corruuption is not good. I have been saying this for ages. It is a sin. But this sin will not wash with Ganga also. So you must be careful not to be involved in all this.

Reporter: So how do you intend to take action against corrupt MPs or officers?

Mantriji: Why do you media people always pointing fingers at MPs and officers? What about NGO? Have you seen how much corruption they do? Nobody talks about that. I will take strict action against them and make sure they are not stealing from this nation.

Reporter: But Mantriji…

PA to Mantriji: Sorry but Mantriji has a meeting with an important 4G meeting. So thank you for your time. No comments.

Photoshop: Best Surgeon in the world

Model (M): I would like a portfolio made

Photographer (P): Sure madam, please come in. Are you planning to send it to producers or modeling agencies?

M: I am not sure but I want some flexibility

P: Well no problem, let us start

M: No no I had come to check the rates. I am not even dressed for it. I need to go to the parlour before the shoot.

P: No need to worry madam…I can take care of it

M: You mean…you do make-ups?

P: No, but I can photoshop the snaps and take care of everything

M: But I have not brought any costumes

P: No problem madam, I will photoshop it and I can give you any clothes you want or not 😉

M: Err…but

P: Don’t worry madam, I will take care of the butt also. I can give it any shape you want

M: Oh! I did not mean…what..you can!!!

P: Of course…in fact what is your vital stats?

M: Well….

P: Never mind…never mind…I will give you some choices after the shoot.

M: What about my hair?

P: That is easy. I can photoshop it to look blonde, brunette, ginger even rainbow it up.

M: I won’t want that…rainbow..hehe!

P: Oh that is nothing madam, you want a painless tattoo I can photoshop it on you…any part of the body you like.

M: Oh I always wanted a tattoo!

P: In fact I can give you a face lift, liposuction, breast enhancement…just about anything you wish. In fact I think you can lose some weight around the hips and I can even scrub your back. After air-brushing the images you will have skin like a baby.

M: Hmm…but…but…I am actually a guy.

P: Oh sex-change…no problem…I have Photoshop na!

Porch Memoirs Part 1

I sit on the porch watchaloneing the sun slowly settling down for a night’s sleep. I can hear the birds rushing to their nests chirping and calling their neighbors to do the same. As always, I can feel the strange calm spreading through the atmosphere at dusk. For the last 14 years since I retired, I have stuck to this ritual of sitting out on the porch even before I lost my soulmate. She used to accompany me till the day she decided to leave me to experience this all alone.

I sit on the rocking chair with my last cup of tea for the day. A black bitter concoction that she hated but always loved to take a sip from my cup and grimace. Now that I remember those sips, I feel she might have been trying to make it a little sweet through that one sip or may be she wanted to show her solidarity in experiencing that hideous spew with me.

As the sun tries its best to throw some light on the mysteries of the night one last time as it disappears, the earth already starts preparing for the long slumber ahead. The orange glow hides more than what it should show. The silence that ensues amplifies sounds that is otherwise lost in the din of the day. I can hear the creaking. I forget if it is the creaking of my chair or my old bones. But the sound is oddly comforting.

At my age, you cling on to anything from your past, as if you are trying your best to hold on to your life. No, I am not holding on to life like a drowning man. In fact, I have been waiting patiently for the infamous cold hand of death that one hears about at all times. She never told me if it was cold or hot. She just left, smiling as usual; just like the day I saw her for the first time.

To be continued…