I realized I am a Racist!

racist glasses

I write this post with trepidation as I confess to the fact I realized quite recently; that I may perhaps be a racist. I may sound flippant or a trifle impetuous in the manner in which I share this.

But the very nature by which this thought surfaced recently during one of the many nonsensical conversations that keep us entertained at times; was as shocking as the topic itself. I feel a sense of shame not by this realization itself. The very fact that racism still casts a definitive dark shadow in our minds even if not as prevalent.

Let me deal with the white elephant in the room. So going back to the innocent conversation, I realized I do not enjoy drinks that are dark or brown – Whiskey, Brandy, Rum, Coca Cola, Pepsi and such. But I like my colorless or white drinks – Vodka, Gin, White Wine, Sprite, 7-up.

Now this rare insight led to an unintended introspection – Am I subconsciously racist? Do I tend to avoid the beverages of color due to their taste or lack thereof or is there a more sinister reason? Am I being constantly exposed to excesses of xenophobia in the media? Or have we made this topic so sensitive, that even thinking about coloring agents could evoke a sense of guilt?

As you might have figured out by now, that I seem to have lot of time on my hands to introspect and come up with the “beverage color test for racism”. But then the final hours of a weekend accompanied by the spirits of the fairer variety do tend to bring out some profound moments of illumination. So here I was thinking – without any conclusion – about my obvious bias towards the white spirits. Finally, the Vino Blanc made my thoughts go blank and unsatisfied with my self-inquiry I decided to form them into words.

So here I am: confessing this shameful realization that needs further inquiry. Inquire I will as I have my next glass of wine and with courage – I may sip the darker red variety; a small step towards overcoming my prejudice of color.

Side note:
Derelict traditions, irrational superstitions and cumbersome customs have progressively given way to scientific inquests. Even the most rigid religions & patrons of faith have shown some form of malleability if not acceptance, of comportment most abhorred in the earlier days. But for some reason, even today racism holds an unwanted relevance in our lives. One of the many things that makes nature more beautiful, is its wide assortment of colors and hues. The most boring species on the planet are the humans with only a few colors to boast of – and we have issues with those too! I hope we humans are some day ‘color blind’ and embrace humans for the beauty we are.

P.S. I have always loved dark chocolate (80% cocoa or more) and it may be my soul food to recovery. I will accept it as my bitter medicine; so feel free to send them over.

Hurting Flies and Mass Murderers

They Would Never Hurt Fly

I shake in my boots when I hear – “Oh! It came as a surprise to me! That boy could not even hurt a fly”

If not hurting flies  is the definitive benchmark of a person who is incapable of committing crimes especially murder, then I am a sure goner. I have swatted flies dead and at times with only my bare hands and intense concentration, smashed red ants, and even killed a menacing rat once at home.

Does that make my a potential candidate for a serial-killer? I have spent countless sleepless nights wondering this. What if this tendency to hurt pests extends to the general human populace especially when a large percentage of which can be easily identified as pests? As I toss and turn on the bed, I cannot help but think of the consequences and how I may be judged.

What will the old ladies and relatives say about me in the media after I am sent to trial?

“Oh he is a good boy. Killed a rat once that I saw but other than that I did’t think he could do something like this”

or perhaps a less painful statement such as, “He was not the silent types. Always yapping about bothering everyone. Its the silent ones you got to watch but this one…surprised us all.”

One moment I would be yapping and another moment…Wham!Bham!Shazaam! I may drop someone and everyone would be left wondering just like me – How on earth did that happen? Of course I have no intention of pursuing such a ‘Pest Clearance Drive’, but then these things pop in one’s head. I am not sure about you but it is not easy being me.

If flies were the barometer of ‘murderistic’ talent then I have butchered it already. I have shot off the dial as they say. I am glad “Minority Report” doesn’t exist as of today in our society or I would be locked in the gallows for good. Gives me the jitters I say!

Ah! there goes that pesky ant! Wait you……


Interestingly there is a book by the name “They Never Hurt a Fly” by Slavenka Drakulic on War Criminals on Trial at Hague. Interesting title. Will grab a copy if I get one. 

Pseudo Democracy

We have government subsidized Liquor Shops and tax breaks for manufacturers
But we also have bans on advertising of liquor on all media channels

We have a ban on tobacco products and smoking in public places
But we also have a dedicated Directorate of Tobacco Development to promote production

Prostitution in itself is not an offense in the country
But appointing a business development executive (pimp) or self-marketing is illegal

Public Display of Affection is against moral laws and public decency
But rape is the fastest growing crime in the country*

We build new statues to supposedly elevate the pride of the country, state or street
But we do nothing to protect the historic monuments of the country

We are made aware of the corruption, criminal backgrounds and scandals of our politicians
But we forgive and forget them more than the neighbours kid who broke your window

We worry about Indians in Australia and abroad
But we beat up our own when they come from another state for their livelihood.

We pride ourselves in being secular
But tolerate fanatics who destroy mosques, attack temples and burn people in the name of religion

We burn candles and stand vigils for the victims of terrorists attacks

But we protect the terrorist for a senseless trial at the cost of tax-payers money

We fight over a piece of our land with outsiders and let innocents die in crossfire
But we cut our country into pieces when some politicians go on a hunger strike unto death

We are a democracy

*according to data for 2006 released by the home ministry’s National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB). A rape is being reported every 30 minutes, an alarming increase of nearly 700% since 1971 when the NCRB started recording them. It has been steadily increasing every year now standing at approx 25 minutes/rape.

The Smartest Smartphone

NOTE: For not so smart readers like me, this article has been broken down into small smart parts that can be read without overheating your brains…this is the first smart part. The next part will come after I cool down a bit 🙂

Smartphone Yes, I have the smartest Smartphone that you would never dream to possess. My Smartphone is so smart that I am sure that it has some hidden AI which puts me in my place and lets me know who the real boss is. I have come to terms with the fact that my Smartphone uses me, to go places. I am nothing but a ‘communicating transportation being’ whose sole purpose is to serve my phone, which brings me to my next conclusion – my phone is definitely Female!

I have a Nokia 6600. I just heard many of you wonder aloud, well that is so basic; what can be so smart about that one? Well, that is exactly my point. This evil phone fooled me into believing that it was just another simple basic Smartphone. But it was not long before when I realized that this one is really different. I must have really pissed some God of Technology (I am sure there is one…Hindus have a god for every purpose); that I was so benevolently cursed with this Smartphone…rather smart-ass phone.

It was about 6 months after I bought the phone that I did notice the true colors of my Smartphone. May be that itself talks a lot about my smartness levels. But then who would have thought in their wildest dreams that a mere phone can be smarter than you bargained for especially when such tall claims are made by my friends who are either lawyers or sales guys.

The first indication of an abnormal level of intelligence and smartness was evident after 6 months when the phone started restarting itself. All of a sudden in the middle of a conversation, she would decide that I have been talking into her for long. She would switch herself off and then restart all by herself. It was an exercise in limited talktime. (Had my father been aware of this, he would have immediately placed an order for my sister and mother too). At first, I scoffed at this phenomenon as some small software issue since this model is known to have some bugs. I made a mental note to go to the Nokia center for a software upgrade later.

Then one fine day, one of the buttons and a crucial one at that – “Menu” stopped working without any reason. The button would work at times but never most of the times. The phone had developed the uncanny sense of figuring out for itself when I needed that button the most and automatically deactivate it. And for no reason whatsoever, the button would work fine when I needed it the least.

This was not funny anymore since except for using my phone as a phone, I could not do anything else. What use is a Smartphone if I can’t use it other than a just a phone? Who needs just a phone that can receive and make calls along with texting? What about the expensive yet slow GPRS? What about the Bluetooth, Whitetooth and Rottentooth? Who can forget about the age old Snake Game? And the inadequate camera that can click pictures of moments you would never want to see again in a lifetime (definitely not the grainy ones that these minuscule lenses can garner). To be continued… (For sure)!

Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this post are those of the writer himself and should no way be taken as a review of the phone model. This need not be a generic experience for other users. The writer has also not been compensated by Nokia’s competitors in any form to write this article and is still poor; so donations are welcome.