Idecided to take a small break from my phonely woes and bring up this very important point that I feel most of the guys will relate to.
“Don’t you feel that we guys are facing more insecurities than ever before?”
Look at all the challenges that are been thrown at us from all around. Let me try and list some of them:
Body shoddy: There were times when guys could relax with a keg of beer, belch comfortably and slouch on the sofa. But now those jerks on TV and even never-ending serials have all decided to get 6-pack abs and highly toned bodies. First I blame the movie 300 for raising the bar and then SRK for his latest release – “6-packs at 40 – Not a smoking tale”. Now he can match his smoking to his abs.
Because of people like these we are now expected to hit the Gym and sweat it out like dogs. These stars get covered over their heads in money to show off their bodies and we have to pay through our nose and then walk around all covered up lest we get arrested for indecency.
Dance Baliye: This is another bane that has entered our lives to torment guys. All of a sudden your girl wants you to learn dancing and shake a leg. Why? Because all those husbands and boyfriends on TV do just that. Till yesterday, I sincerely believed that Salsa was a Mexican sauce but now I know that they are nothing but weird gyrations.
Animals, bees and birds are known to have their own mating dance. Now we guys have been reduced to animals that also have to learn different genres of dances to be considered eligible for mating. Even then it is more of a lucky draw.
Mr. Nightingale: Nothing to do with the nurse I say, it’s more of the crooning variety. All these loads and loads of songs that these heroes are shown singing spontaneously at the spur of a moment do nothing to ease the humiliation that we bathroom signers have to endure.
First of all they can conjure lyrics like rabbit from a hat and then sing like Kishore da or Stevie Wonder. All that this does besides making money for the producers, is the raising the bar yet again. Expectations soar; the fairer skin looks at us with fluttering eyelashes, expecting us to break in to an impromptu song that defines her beauty in flattering words that will put flattery to shame.
The Psychic: There is nothing more frustrating and incomprehensible when the guys on the silver screen seem to know exactly what their girl wants, or thinks, or needs at the very exact moment. Also they can seem to procure the need or facilitate the fulfillment of such wanton wants with no reason to check their wallets too.
This I say is gross injustice to all guys across the world since we are wrongly accused of being Psychics. It is absolutely outrageous that girls expect us to understand what their problem is without them even telling us anything about it. I can’t blame them but the movies for spreading such gross misrepresentations.
JackMasters -I call these TV guys JackMasters; larger than life, Jack of All Trades and Master of all too! They see a guitar, they will play it; they see some incomplete lyrics lying around, they will pick up where the heroine left off; they see a building, they will jump over it. I am really tired of these JackMasters…and I hate them for ruining our lives.
I long for those days when the male lead will be a pot bellied man, lying on the couch drinking beer and watching TV and not caring a hoot about the female lead and yet getting her in the end. Hey wait a minute!!!….That is exactly what I saw on SUN TV. Bye Bye Bollywood…Thunder Thighs here I Come!